Winter Solstice

Today, as I walked across the garden, the sun was just peeking over my neighbor's house. The chill in the air was not too cold. I didn't need my beanie or the hood on my sweatshirt. A good sign, to me, on the last morning of autumn.
In the autumn, I pull my energy inward and regroup. Kinda like Gaia. It is a process that has grown over the years. My beloved friend Jerry was a great teacher for me about that. Allow the rhythm of the planet to be your guide, Laura.
I wouldn't describe it as a battle against society and this nutty world that I am living in. It's moreso like moving in harmony. I am creating a world around myself that is so lovely and calm that it helps to balance the craziness that is showing up outside of my home. The Dalai Lama encourages us to be happy, thereby reducing the suffering in the world.
So, happiness is mine. In greater amounts each day. I sit at my desk with too much work to accomplish. In an instant I am in deep gratitude to have these tasks on my desk. They are shaping me into a greater Laura. I serve a higher purpose with my work and that, my friends is a great blessing.

Tonight we move to the return of the light. The Winter Solstice. Jerry would say it's the first day of Spring. Simply because he had been watching the diminishing light on his farm and was ready to start seeds in his greenhouse. It's the night of hope. Or possibility. In my mind's eye I see myself as a child with an impish grin looking toward the sun and delighting in its warmth and the beautiful light it sheds.
This is my holiday, the winter solstice...the real season! In the way a child delights in the pretty packages under the tree, I delight in the return of the light. I am ready.

This beautiful farm has been pulling her energy inward as well. A true reflection of the one tending to it.
We are on a hillside above the San Luis Rey River Valley, on the north slope. I watch out my window as the emerging sunlight touches the valley and the mountains...the south slopes. We wait for the light on our north slope and see great long shadows across the planting beds. Patience is mine for the next few weeks as we prepare for more sunlight across this beautiful valley to touch us as well.

In the mean time I finish the work of the world and plan the work of my home farm. I heard some people talking about the rat race yesterday. Funny term isn't it? I am not a rat. This is no race. I am enjoying the journey.

The light grows in my heart. It leads me to joyous experiences. It heals my sorrows. All is well. The year winds to completion and I am beginning to see the light of a very promising year ahead.

May your solstice light shine ever brighter.

Namaste

Growing and glowing

I think that you may be wondering if I even grow anything anymore! I barely write about the farm and what is happening. It's indicative of the activities of my life of late.

Yes, we are growing food. We are networking and I think we are branding ourselves too.

A camera crew visited the farm to shoot some footage for a TV show. It will air in April. Scott the farmer and Scott the chef had a great time on Friday walking around the farm. They were all about the citrus and macadamia nuts. The greens played a part....more on that in a second.

I see what isn't done so often that I forget that there is amazing abundance all around. The citrus trees are packed with the next harvest, some of which will be soon. They look really healthy and I couldn't be more pleased. The mac nuts are about to drop a new crop. They are so yummy and surprisingly easy to care for. And when the trees are flowering in the spring...ahh! that fragrance is so pleasant.

Sunday night it all came together for an outside dinner that was a challenge for the midwest carnivore chef. Make us a vegan, gluten free meal without seitan and tofu. Scott was the sous chef, a part he plays well. The production crew was, shall we say, challenged. Their timing was disorganized. It's the producer's job to keep it on task and the crew was doing their dog-gonedness to get it going! I've done shoots for years and these gals left a lot to be desired in the time management arena...
I digress.

The greens were the starter in a sweet little bowl. My friends at Temecula Olive Oil Company provided the Hickory Smoked Oil and chef served it in a shot glass for us to drizzle onto the soup. Fantastic.
Next was an entree with a delish quinoa croquette with lightly pickled white beets. Our collards provided a wrap around a veggie roll. Our persimmon and chard stems were the dressing. YUMMMMM.
Desert, get this...avocado gelato. Oh! so fantastic....

So, my life in the last week has been filled with one delicious plate after another. I love this farming fun....it always leads to great meals.

The rain today is helping us dampen the newly tilled and raked beds. Planting next week. Oh! Yes!

Plant based diet. It's good for me. And oh! so tasty.

Calm Acceptance

I am happy to arrive at Sunday morning.

My husband is on his weekly call with his bestie in Florida....Do men have besties?? Yes, of course.

My daughter is snug in her bed covered in blankets dreaming her last dreams of the night.

My roommate will be stirring soon, get herself ready and be off for another epic day.

Hawks, jays and crows greet the day in their way. The sky is a shroud of gray pregnent with the coming storm.

Sunday is a great day to reflect and embody the gifts for the week gone by. It is a great day for preparation for what is to be in the week ahead. Perhaps you do this religiously. Sundays were my prep days when we were a homeschool family. It is a familiar ritual for my life.

My journal reflects more personal aspects of my reflections. I don't ned to be so naked here in cyberspace. Some things, many things, are meant for inner musings and not conversation or broadcasting! Just sayin'!

I search for the right expression of this reflection. I want to write it just so. So that I can really receive the bigger gift....the golden ticket.

I made my last trip to the desert for the year. Happily I zoomed across the landscape making a nice big circle of the trip. I am a backroads girl and one of my faves is S2 from Hwy 79 to Hwy 78 east of the Laguna Mountains. San Felipe Canyon is a lovely drive. Just enough curves and very light traffic

I am driving my new car and finding the feeling for the speed limits. You know how it feels to drive 55 or 60 in your car, without seeing the odometer. Well...I think this is one of the gifts of my week.

I stopped to film some cows along the road. The ranchers are Scott's newest client, so it was a silly treat for Scott. I pulled away from the side of the road and got myself back up to speed. Actually I got myself past the limit. Way past!!

When the Sheriff passed me, on his way back to the station, he knew it.

He had a radar!! (FYI)

Foot off the gas, braking after he goes around the curve, so he might not see the brake lights and just keep going. Then...the light show goes on and he pulls a u-turn.

At that moment, in earlier days of my life I would have behaved unconsciously. Adrenalin, heart racing, worry. But not this time. I knew that it would be fine. I knew that I didn't want a ticket. I had no fear and I was so calm that it surprised me.

We had a calm and civil interaction. He told me to slow down and sent me on my way. We wished each other Merry Christmas.

Stunned or...well, not the opposite of stunned. Simply impressed. I have come a long way.

I am living as...

Happiness

Clarity

Joy

Order

Wisdom

Thank you for your love and support beloved Universal Love, Wisdom and Creativity.

YOU ROCK!!!

Eighth of Dec

Holy mistletoe...

Zooming towards a new year here! So much zoom and no posting time. Write Laura...WRITE!!!

The Universe had a delight in store for us this week. Well, many really. I have one that I want to share that is a mind-blower though. All of us folk who toil away at jobs we love...or don't. What do you think about this?

Two twenty-somethings cruising across the landscape with a desire to go where the universe sends them. Two backpacks, two duffel bags and a guitar. Hitch-hiking to points on an ethereal map.

Does it sound like something that you have done? Something that you want to do?

The story begins with a text from my cousin. She was curious if I knew of any farms in Arizona or New Mexico that were looking for help.

Heavens...I am asking for help at my place!!

Well, their mission was not to be at my place.

These free spirits showed up at our door last night and caught a ride to Indio with me. You see...my part in their perfect plan of "going where the universe blows us" was to get them to the gateway of the open road to the west.

I knew the perfect truck stop and knew that they would have no problem getting a ride. So they did. Twenty minutes after I left they were on their way to Phoenix.

WOW!!

Way to go Universe.

So, the moral of this story is ...

Set your sails and tell the universe to blow you where it will. Your destiny awaits. The co-operative universe is standing by. Just waiting to be in your adventure.

Outing myself

It's time I came clean. I have been thinking about this and, well, it's time.

I am crazy in love.
It started slowly and has built into something that I just cannot contain. I want to share it with the world!

The object of my love has the most magical singing voice. It transports me in ways that are too personal to express.
It's not like that! I mean that sharing every little thought or idea is not necessary to a happy life...or a blog! Some things are more magical when they stay inside of me and are my own delicious universe.

Last night was the closing show of Jason Mraz's and Toca Rivera's world tour. Our seats were in the orchestra section at the Spreckles Theatre. The venue is vintage San Diego, built in 1912. It is an exquisite setting that evokes an intimate evening. For a few hundred people.
I was enraptured by the sweet sounds of Jason's voice. He carries me to sublime blissful happiness. It was my first show and I was amused by the jokes and anecdotes that he shared. One-ness and community are the themes of his life and that's great by me!

I live a charmed and intentional life. It is blessed with precious friends and so many pleasurable experiences. I am singing out gratitude to my creator and my community for the blessings that abound.

Did you see the sunset last night? AMAZING!!

Singing a beautiful melody today. What is your song's melody?

RIP Ducks

Dear Ducks,
I send you on to your next-yet-to-be with a heavy heart.
I miss your sweet sounds and persistent attitudes. The slugs won't, though.

I think coyote came in the stole your breath and fed themselves well.

The truth is, I am a coyote keeper. They are an important part of the circle of life around here. Their habitat has been disrupted and that is why they pushed themselves into our yard. Overarching themes 'n all.

You were great fun. The companionship that you gave us and the special connection that you had with Scott was our joy these last few months.

Attachment. I appreciate the gifts that keep showing up around attachment.

Alright already.

Blessings for Francis Drake and his lovely hens. Cayuga Ducks rock my world.

Me Tummy Full.......

Sunday night.....so happy to reflect on another week gone by.
What a tremendous week it was.
Gratitude. Thanksgiving. Appreciation. Generosity.
These are the gifts from last week that I shall carry through the rest of the year.

This fantastic job of mine takes me on beautiful drives with vistas of the great big desert sky. There was something particularly magickal about the sky over the Coachella Valley last Wednesday morning. Not sure what it was, but I was smitten.
Gratitude for big blue skies and crystal clear views.

Thursday was a great day. We made one traditional dish and completely mashed up the rest. The winner of the day for me...Lily' s Mousse Au Chocolat. Oh! My! Heavens! She is good and I have got to be really careful in the coming weeks if she keeps it up.
Thanks I give for a big kitchen and dishes washed!

When I am smart enough to observe...messages are all around vying for my attention. I am learning the tradition of animal messages with the assistance of a few reference books. I appreciate the wisdom that these guides, both the books and the animals, offer.

A friend came to visit this weekend. We had such a great time together. He is so generous with his love...and that bottle of Jameson was a great addition to the liquor cabinet. It'll keep me warm this winter!!!

So, I leap into the coming week. Poised, primed and.......

Stoked.

Fresh Air

The morning after it rains it seems the sun shines a little brighter. The birds are a little more cheery. The colours in the garden are deeper.

I love the rain and yesterday was my day to play in it. We had to get a better cover on the chicks' cage and, of course our action packed lives led us to do it as the edge of the storm was sweeping by. So fun to be in a drenched shirt...mostly because it was not a really cold storm.

I had readied the main water catchment barrel and it filled up really well. I put 5 gallon buckets along the pathway to the front door too. The exercise in scurrying about was silly to some, perhaps and lots of fun to me! I have water that I can give to the thirsty bananas and it was a gift from the water gods.
Fantastic.

Enjoy this glorious weekend!!!

Love all Serve all

Dia de Los Muertos

I live in Mexico.....you thought it was California. Think again.
I live, not immersed, but surrounded by a culture that gives me many opportunities to dabble.
Today, I dabble in the experience of Dia de los Muertos. Day of the Dead.

Today is not yesterday. Thankfully.



Today I am in a great place of celebration of Sam and my momma.
My mom's touch is all around me. In my head too! She was a dynamo.
Sam...well today we want to celebrate Sam with food.
Mexican families go to the cemetery and have picnics on the graves of their departed, eating their favorite foods.
The list of Sam's faves is, well, not in congruence with my highest good! A couple of things that I'm not gonna eat today that he loved:

California burrito from Santanas
A Double Double from you know where!!

I won't eat chard 'cuz he hated it.
Maybe we'll have shepherd's pie for dinner. He loved it and created a lot of yummy versions of it.

We don't have an altar set up in the garden, yet. So I just frolic out there and putter to honor his great big spirit.

I am thankful for the gift that he is. How he reminds me to celebrate life and not to be so maudlin.
You are the Best Sam. The Best. Keep showing me the Good Life and I continue to celebrate your Good Life.....

Autumn Morn

It is such a beautiful day today!
The sky has just the right amount of puffy clouds and there is a slight crisp present in the air.

I had fun watching two chicks in the chicken tractor yesterday. They work here too! The tractor is a contraption that sits on the ground and protects the chickens while they eat the weeds and bugs in a particular area. Since we had a bit of rain this month the weeds have germinated.

I have a little video for you today that shows how big they have grown in a couple of weeks.






The ducks have also been super effective at their work. I don't think there is one snail left anywhere. The hens offer us three eggs daily and I am creating a market for those eggs. They are quite yummy. This video has some morning sunlight in it, but I wanted to get their voices in there.
We are putting some fencing around the growing areas to keep them sequestered. It is a bit imposing and not very pretty but absolutely necessary. If we continue to let them roam we will have trampled plants. Not Good!!

Farm happenings

I ordered seed!!!

Yippee for meeeee!

Talking and planning are all very well. It's the work getting done that creates the feasts on my friends' tables. So.....I am in joyful anticipation of a box of seeds. It will be here by Friday.

In the meantime there are beds to rake. Walkways to clean up. Trees to prune. Mulch to be placed. Kohlrabi is almost ready to be planted...YUUUUMMMMM!!

The new flock of chicks are doing very well. They are eating quite a bit of food...just as they should be! PIctures to follow.

Bandit was super sick last week and, thankfully is back to his peppy self. Iggy has a thick winter coat coming in. It could be a chilly one based on how he looks today!

I am teaching myself about worms in the next few weeks. We bought two bins and are happy to have another place to be putting our table scraps. They provide fantastic castings that are soil builders. You should see Lily's passion fruit vine. It loves the worm castings.

I love Autumn!

Food Day-Soap Box

Of course I have something to say today.

It's Food Day in the USA. A project of the Center for Science in the Public Interest.

www.foodday.org

I know all of your dear readers are good eaters. Some even choosing a plant based diet. I acknowledge your commitment to your personal care through your diet.

In French the word for diet is regime. And truly, that is what it is. A daily regime to care for your temple. Garbage in garbage out. Get the picture?

Living in the US it takes special attention, and quite possibly more money to take really good care of that! We are unsuspecting guinea pigs to an industrial food industry. The industry has expanded to include untested science in our day-to-day meals. Do you know what a GMO is? If you do be sure that you tell your friends. That's the untested science mentioned above. Since the GOM's have been introduced to the American people in 1995 there have been increases in Diabetes and Obesity and Heart Disease and ......

Anyway....It is up to us to be informed consumers and that is one point that I want to make today. There is a campaign to label GMO's on packaging. What, you say? They aren't labeled.

Well, Congress agreed with Monsanto and the other agribusinesses that the public would be confused with labeling. We are not stupid people and now there is a demand brewing for labeling.

www.labelgmos.org

Choosing organic food is the only guarantee that you have, at this point, of eating non-GMO foods.

Thanks for reading this. Please tell your friends. Talk about your food's sources. Do you know your farmer? She is your primary health care provider.

Life in the flow

I'm a stubborn woman.
I am pretty sure it contributes to tenacity, being stubborn. I am glad that Life affords me opportunities to listen, be flexible and move through the stubbornness. If I just trust the flow, I will be moved, no matter what, to my bliss.


That is why we went to the feed store and got another flock of chickens. Somewhere deep inside, I know that I am here to raise healthy birds and contribute to my friend's healthy eating practices. If the eggs are the only thing that I produce here, than I will have accomplished some Good.
Besides, they are so ding dang fun to watch.






They are enjoying their first dirt bath. They came straight from the feed store where they do not have the luxury of living on the ground. I think that their future is good and happy. There is plenty of room to stretch and they are protected from the older girls, who are very curious by the way!

Where is the flow of Life carrying you this autumn?

Wangari Maathai

Today I want you to meet one of Gaia's heroines. Albeit posthumously.

The tenacious Wangari Maathai made her transition yesterday.

Why is she a heroine? Who is she?
Well, darlings this woman is likely the African sister of Mother Theresa. She was a stand for freedom from poverty for Kenyan women.
She earned degrees in biology in the US. She is the first Kenyan woman to achieve a doctorate degree from the University of Nairobi. She loved Gaia's bounty and was troubled when, as a young person, she saw the degradation for the Earth's bounty for profit.
Awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2004, she made these remarks:
"In the course of history, there comes a time when humanity is called to shift to a new level of consciousness, to reach a higher moral ground."

This courageous woman was vilified by her country's government, including its leader. She was arrested in 1992 and charged with treason. Her crime? Protesting the building of a 60-story sky-scraper in Nairobi's Uhuru Park. Standing up for democracy and preservation of natural resources.
You see, she believed that the way out of poverty was empowerment and education. She began Kenya's Green Belt Movement. Her vision created tree nurseries for women to empower themselves out of poverty. The trees provided cooking fuel, food and a sustainable income.
"Tree planing became a natural choice to address some of the initial basic needs identified by women. Tree planting is simple..."

I have been inspired by Wangari's strength. She remained true to her vision. Even when her husband divorced her because she was "too educated, too strong, too successful, too stubborn and too hard to control."
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle, no?

We are not here to be controlled. We are here to soar. To find our voice and to raise it up. Bringing hu-woman-kind to the high vibration that is the Truth of who we can be. Who we must be.

This is my call to action. My call to pick myself up from the ashes and step into the power that is mine to live.

Yep, I woke up inspired today!

Did I mention that Sam was born on Wangari's 52nd birthday.
They are soul-partners of the trees.

Plant more trees!
Create pathways for the daughters, sisters, mothers to BE BRILLIANT.

Dear Reader

Dear Reader,
Do you really care that I stay on track with one of my many passions in this blog? Do you want me to write to entertain you?
Is your interest purely relating to the farming passion of my life? Spirituality? Food? Family? Music?

What is the point of one's blog, anyway?

I have a couple of answers that I think will move me ahead in this glorious life that is living as me.
I am passionate about love and living. This means that there are many areas that are an influence to my joy. So I propose that I write about the things that turn me on. As well as the things that give my life meaning. So, really, I am writing for me. If you find that you are touched in some way...then great. If no....go to the next blog. There are plenty.


Our self-named "rowdy neighbor boys" are some of the best neighbors we have ever had. Thoughtful, engaging, kind, happy people! They are brilliant young men who happen to live in a gorgeous house on a quiet rural-almost-urban easement. They have lots of interests, including delicious food. They hunt and fish and are oh so kind to share with us.
(I have a wild turkey breast that I get to find a great recipe for)

Last night I prepared some fresh local blue fin tuna that they caught off our coast.
We have mac nut trees on our property and I was inspired to make a mac nut parmesan "crust" for the fish. Lily carmelized some of our onions to accompany the fish. It was a delicious meal. Super delicious.

Thanks Aaron and Garrett. Keep on inspiring me.

What inspires you?

Home again

This has been the most EPIC summer. I have traveled more than I had ever expected at the year's beginning! Thank you to the fossils of the dinosaurs for the juice to zoom across the highways and the skies.

I am living a charmed life. So are you.

Charm and serendipity flow everywhere. From here to eternity. Just gotta see it and jump into the whirlwind of it. I allow it to carry me and my intentions along.

My heart has lead me to wonderful experiences of love and service and I am eager to see it all fall into place.
On Thursday we toured some homes near us that are beautiful places where adults are living with autism and it's effects. Soon there will be fresh food growing in the yards and the goodness will be prepared into ever greater meals and joy will be flowing. It is a glorious thing. Thank you for the opportunity. This is gonna be so cool!

Our urban farm is kicking out food again. Zucchini cakes and whatever other recipes I can come up with for zucchini will grace our table for days!

I began canning last week. I love August. So much creativity on the counters. I am charged with keeping them clean so that the canvas can be ready for anything!
Ha!

Life is Wonderful. Life is Meaningful.

Just when you thought...

Sometimes things can look terrible at the outset. Then, when my head is screwed on right and I get back into right thinking.....
IT'S ALL GOOD.........

I remain steadfast in my positive headspace and all that I see ahead looks like opportunity.

We have been getting support on the farm from a super guy, who happens to be a welder. We are not welders and asking him to do certain tasks was something we shoulda watched. Hindsight-20/20.

Sweet guy. He put in 5 days of hard work getting all the weeds pulled and the compost spread all over this place. The last task was to weed the tomato bed that Sam and his beloved Karen planted in March. Well, the plants looked like weeds to him and he pulled the tomatoes and the weeds. Scott and I just cried. We had put so much love and energy and attachment to those plants...Sam's last crop.

I couldn't spend too much time there. Too sad. Waaaay tooooo sad.

Find the Good...
The fruit was gathered and believe it or not, it has been ripening in nice steady stages for two weeks. I have been quite surprised! Some of the fruit is dried now, some frozen and some pickled. I may even get it together to make ketchup and "can" it. (It's easier than I remember, it just takes all day to cook)!

My/our farm is ready for the coming seasons. We are on a springboard of sorts. Everything is primed and as soon as we return from Farm Aid...we are off and running again. It is so exciting to think about all of the things we want to grow.

Life is full of hidden blessings. I am discovering them all the time.
I'm still learning how to make the pictures go where I want them to be. That lovely plate was put together by my new chef friend Mario at Flying Pig in O'side. House made Ricotta, Champagne dressing, tempura anchovies....a delicious amuse bouche. Hand a man tomatoes and watch him shine.
I love my life....food!!!! Ahhh yes.

Love you Sam. You grew some delicious tomatoes this year babe! Like last year and the year before!

Ahhhh! August

My European roots are yearning and longing. They want to enjoy the truth of what August is about. VACATION!! Everyone, except the service workers, is on vacation in Europe. Yes, everyone is a really big word. I mean, where are the bakers and bus drivers? Who manages everything during vacation time? So realistically, maybe not everybody....

Words...blah blah blah.

I am so aware that all the words spoken and written have a place from whence they come and a place where they land. They all have substance...so when I paint with a broad paintbrush I get a little edgie.......wanting to be authentic and real......

I digress.....August has caught me with my vacation head fully engaged. It showed up on Tuesday as I attempted sitting in the Home Office of my employer. Successfully pushed through that, accomplishing work and felling better for it, I guess. I want more vacation.....

I learned quite a few things on Tuesday...

my favorite phrase was....

Was that the best use of my time?

Pondered that. Then pondered that some more. Gonna keep pondering that.

For the last 5 years the first week of August has been given in service at a conference at Asilomar Conference grounds in Pacific Grove, Ca. I taught youth classes and then lead the teaching team. We accomplished some great and fantastic experiences during each of those weeks on the Monterey Bay. I made new friends and found more about myself to love and trust.

This week is poignant for me. I have "graduated", or is it "released", and flew by Asilomar to say hi to friends and stayed on the north end of the bay instead of being on the conference team. Many things have changed...some for good.....some still need to be better.

In 2009 when we were here, Sam had a great time. He volunteered with a groundskeeper and did some support work with the Monterey Pine seedlings that are in an area near the youth classrooms. On Monday a group of us blessed those trees with a ceremony to spread some of Sam's ashes. It was beautiful and so loving for us all. His love is all around us and I am so appreciative to be dancing in it! His friends are a treasure to me.

Things change and that is the way I like it. I want to grow and expand. That must be why I am a farmer. I plant seeds and reap harvests that are abundant and strong. I cultivate my life to have all of the right ingredients to thrive. When the invasive species show up I get rid of them....you know what I mean, the weeds and bad bugs.

Cultivation brings congruence.

Music-the craft that heals

Something marvelous happened this week. I wonder if you have heard.
During a visit to LA on Tuesday I sat in the car listening to NPR...the way the locals do...to educate and stimulate during the periods of stop and go on the "free"ways. This story caught my attention and then it captured my imagination.

On Tuesday, the Israel Chamber Orchestra played Wagner's "Siegfried Idyll," alongside the Jewish national anthem Hatikva and works by Mahler and Mendelssohn (both Jewish composers) at a Wagner festival in Bayreuth, Germany. Roberto Paternostro, the conductor of the Orchestra is the son of a holocaust survivor. Many of the orchestra's members are themselves descendants of holocaust survivors.
I grew up knowing the stygma attached to Wagner's works...a child of post WWII America and the daughter of a classically trained opera singer. We didn't listen to Wagner.

This was an unprecedented concert. One that could not yet take place in Israel. In fact the musicians rehearsed the Wagner piece for just a few hours in Germany...not Israel...before the concert. The national psyche is so tender, rightly so.

I share this information for its impact. I see this as a great big giant shift into a new era of healed living. Yes..healed in the present tense. Did you catch the name of the conductor? Paternostro...Latin classes kick in...our father. As in the Divine Father stepping in to raise the awareness to be in a healing right now. Living in the precious present.

Just saying.

Music heals...

Direction for the directed

I've been feeling like I am pushing a rock around a curvy steep grade. I haven't been able to put my finger on where that thought is coming from until this morning. I forgot that my life is light filled. That my choices are light filled and that light is emanating through me and my activities all the time. Oops! Regroup!

I ran away this week. Under the auspices of an inspection trip. One night away-grabbed in the crazy activities of a wild and sunny summer.

We have the entire garden ready to plant. We actually have food growing too! The way has been made to supply some more food for the beloved community we so cherish. Yep! That rocks!
In this new life I do not have to be the body that does the work! WhooHoo! The Universe provides and I keep on expanding my imagination.

Last night I ate at a most unusual restaurant. It is in Hollywood at Larchmont and Melrose. It is called Cafe Gratitude. It is the place you want to be in your life. Honored and treasured and loving your body temple with great organic local seasonal vegan yumminess!

It is right near Paramount studios and I'm sure the great creatives of our time enjoy eating there! I ate a dish called I am Warm-hearted. Polenta with fresh tomatoes. So good, I tell you!

Well, life contnus to teach me to be good to myself and to reframe my thoughts to allow my greatest to be what IS in my life.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Love is the Truth between us.

What are you becoming?

Water.

This week I have forgotten to turn off the water twice. I usually use my smart phone's timer. Cuz, my brain has been overloaded with to do lists to remember the fracking water.....
The net result is a higher bill, mud across one portion of one bed due to task drop-out #1.

Task drop-out #2 fared much better. It was a good idea at the time...water the trees. It's been a while since it has rained. So...I turned the hose on low....good thinking.... and then left it on all day...not so good thinking.
Sam, however....in his mission to build water catchment basins around the trees...saved the day. Thanks love. Wish I could throw my arms around you and give you a big hug. I like how you think/thought. You saved me a real big mess today.
Instead I'll just mention that I saw the most lovely oak tree today....super majestic and gigantic. Just like you....

The good and the accomplished.

As I awoke today something in me said - Get It Done!
I am the one today....so I get to stop waiting and get my rumpus outside and protect my new seedlings and the yummy tomatoes.
Scott started a project that he has been anticipating for more than a year. So he was out the door. I got to feed the beaked ones and then....before the sun came burning through, fashion something to keep the chickens out of the corn patch and away from the baby beets. I am not sure how effective it will be...those girls are committed. I think it's time for a prayer and some drastic measures. I'll let you know how it goes.

Peace and Blessings.

Home again

That was the best! All of it! Everything between the moment that I woke up this morning and the wee hours of last Thursday morning.

Summer road trip time! We left for a wedding in Colorado and returned to food growing with gusto and Iggy kitty greeting us in the morning. It seems he too took a vacation!
Things have evolved for me with the heat index! I am not allowing myself to be intimidated by the "potential" of a hot day. As it turned out we did not have to endure any outrageous heat. Thanks to air conditioning and a swift drive. So why put energy towards something like that? Just chill Laura!
What is all this about?
We drove through the high desert to get through the rocky mountains to the Denver area. Bonsall to Vegas to St. George to the I-70. The route is full of splendor and amazing beauty. How to fall deeper in love with the Creator. WOW!

That is a view from Bryce Canyon. A side trip on the way home. I like to take backroads when possible and a road trip sometimes can afford that. You've just gotta see this place. It is majestic and breathtaking.
I was here when Lily was my sling baby. It's been a while!

I want to remember this journey. I did not write while I was gone. There were many friends to see and no time without something going on.
I am looking forward to some quiet! We rocked and rolled for the many hours of the drive yesterday - the birdsongs will be just fine today!
Thankfully, the weeds are growing along with the squash and carrots!!
I will have the time to be. To reflect. To re-enter this lovely life here!

Breathing in that marine air.....loving sunny So. Cal.

New job

I am a many-part-time-job momma.

Another job came to me this week that completely stokes me out.

1 job as a self-employed farmer-check.

2 jobs for the organic certification agency...check.

1 job as a garden goddess growing food in a backyard for a friend.

overarching theme.....service, support, love and clean food.

Saying yes feels good. Didn't know it was gonna feel this Good.

bring it on....yuuuummmmmm.

That's my ohm chant.

I am in love.

It’s a beautiful thing.

You might think that it is something you already know. That love is deep and true and strong.

This is a new love.

It’s something that kinda jumped at me this weekend.

I’m in Colorado visiting friends. We are staying in Centennial and in anticipation of a wedding in Lakewood. Nice names for communities, eh?

So…this love has shown up through my friends and through the experiences that we are sharing.

Thunderstorms brew and blow and bang and pour.

Conversations are such delicious soup.

I love it here in Colorado.

I have been thinking about love-all the way here and the whole time that I have been here. How much we have. Well, how much I have in my life. It must be evident then, that I give a lot of love in my life. Funny that I wonder if I am giving enough...Just look around Laura!

My pursuit of happiness is accomplished today. There is something delightful about being out in the world accompanied by wonderful young women. The energy is so strong and the people around get a great hit from it. Yes, of course, they are beautiful as well.

Lunch, pedicure and coffee. Yep, happiness indeed.

We drove across the beautiful landscape. Many long hours and beautiful vistas were treasured. Independence Week. hmmm...Summertime road trip and lots of freedom to celebrate.

This blog may not make very much sense to those reading it. Not much continuity. It's more of a statement of experiences over the last few days that I wanted to be sure to get out into cyber space.

Ahh!! Summer.

Woke up in the house this morning and it was just Scott and I. Lily's having fun with some friends in the Temecula Valley. It must be beautiful there this morning cuz the clouds have already burned away here. Empty nest...how funny when it's so full of love and possibilities. The memories are overflowing! It's a grand practice to choose the ones that make me smile. That is my newest spiritual practice. Not avoiding the sorrow....just re-directing the energy to JOY!!!

The farm is looking so lovely. On Tuesday my soil sisters and I planted tomatoes and basil.....Bring on the mozza and we'll enjoy all of it together.....in the last summer! Last night Scott and I planted beans, squash, cukes and bunching onions. It was late in the day...the luxury of having a farm wrapped around my house is that I can nap in the heat and come out to play later...after the heat. The softened light hit the bed just right and showed us this sweet sprouting of red romaine lettuce volunteers. Now, that is a great way to turn a though around. I could have been really bummed about missing plantings...and...how fantastic is Nature that it makes its own way....given all the right conditions.

Praying for Nature to rain without lightening or strong winds on the fire striken areas of Arizona and New Mexico. Praying for the safety of my sons' friends who are fighting wildfires far away from home. May they be protected and honored for their service.

Happy Independence Weekend All!!!

Blessed in our Inter-dependence in creating Heaven on Earth.
Follow Your Folly.
Follow Your Bliss.

Pass the Word

Isn't it funny that life has become about remembering the passwords. I started thinking about posting a blog and couldn't quite remember which one was for this one. You know? I have a head full of them and just praise the times that I remember them.

I guess I shouldn't have listed to that story on NPR about the dementia cluster near Medellin, Colombia...power of suggestion 'n all!

That's not really what is on my mind tonight though.

Fabulous food for a fortnight.

That is my inspiration tonight.

For the last two weeks I have sat and enjoyed some stunning meals.

You can stop here if you are the jealous foodie type. Trust me.....

I don't think I'll post any pictures. I just want to remember them in writing.

Night Number Uno...

12 courses at an exquisitely beautiful home on a cliff above the Pacific Ocean. Yep, 12 courses. 12 chefs. 12 pairings with wines, beers, cider and cocktails. The setting was breathtaking. The company, a crowd of food producers and purveyors. Singing to the choir with the bounty. We were all blown away. A great big thank you for all that we do to shepherd local goodies to grateful kitchens and eaters.

That was a WOW event. Hard to top it.....I'm available mind you. Bring it on..I just need to recover from the other dinners before I can wrap my head around even more grandeur and abundance.

Two farm to fork dinners and a meal at Stone Wold Bistro helped add to the fun fortnight. The f2f chefs know how to treat a girl to some yummy fare that is fresh and light and tasty. Tables set masterfully in garden/farm settings. Great company and an invitation to sit with people you don't know. I met a newlywed couple who are moving to London. Brilliant! (She's is leaving her position at Nokia and sez sell your Nokia stock).

Stone always has yummy food and the service staff rocks......biased am I. Love the CEO and love his (recently promoted) server Joe!

Now, it wasn't all about food and drink, mind you. There was also great music for the second week of the fortnight. I feasted my ears to Brett Dennen, Ariah Firefly, Dawn Mitschele, Jason Mraz, Makepeace Brothers, Charlie Mars and Tristan Prettyman. Six of these great musicians played today at two fund raisers. Epic musical pleasure. I love love love live music and the joy it brings to my life.

I am happy. I am content. I am well fed. I can still fit into my clothes.

It's all Good!!!

Sunday.....Men in kilts. Cabers. Wicked Tinkers.

Highland games here I come!

More written about doing than being tonight. I didn't want to forget these activities. I am not always this busy because it doesn't serve me. I know that down time is crucial to my well being.

And my Being likes well-ness.

Jitters

I've got the jitters.
In a really great way.

I am hyped up on a double cap and a follow-up cup o' Joe. I'm good for the day. It'll keep me past my usual cup of coffee at 3 pm.

So...I'm at this sweet coffee house in O'side that I want all of you to know about. If you seek a place to be loved and welcomed and cherished...

besides going within and finding that about yourself

Some and see Vallie and her crew at Jitters, north of the pier.

I sit with a crew of people who give me so much joy to share life with. I am seeing my life from a sweet place today.

Yes,
the tears are still flowing willy nilly. They have their own pathway to create the next steps of my healing.

Treasure
Each
Aspect
Remembering
Sam

Imposter-able

Today I am my genuine Self.

The curious whirling dervish of a BEing...clothed in the roles of Goddess, woman, momma, sister, friend... more and more.

I wear a lot of hats-thus my hat collection.

My inner voice is in seeking mode today. The beauty of this day can be gone before I dwell in the Infinite's answers. Go ahead....ask!

I am asking mySelf today...

What is beyond/behind/creating the roles that I so willingly play??

Hmmmm. The delicious mystery of the moment.

Am I the breeze whistling through the trees?

Am I the bird of prey with snake hanging from my talons?

Am I the blue true dream of sky?

I Am. That and All that Is.

Given those truths, I Am a stand for love.

As I Am a stand for love, I love myself through each day and give myself permission and power to be All that I am to Be.

No matter what it looks like.

Grace come forth. Peace come forth. Love hold it all.

Will the Real Laura Murray please stand up...

Celebration

Today I celebrate emergence.

Joe turns 22 today. We kidnapped him this morning and sat in the sunshine enjoying breakfast together. It was lovely.

I am celebrating Joe today and all that he means to me. I also celebrate all that he means to this beautiful planet. He is a thoughtful, loving and caring man. Dynamic by nature and by word. A true friend and advocate. A mindful planeteer with many gifts to share for its future.

Thank you Joe. You arrived at the perfect time of my life. You taught me how to be patient and kind. I learned to love at a deeper level than I had ever loved before. You gave me the tremendous gift of becoming the best momma that I could be for you. You made room in your heart to have two wonderful siblings join you on your adventures around the sun. The three of you have blessed my days.

May this coming year gift you with much love, joy and passion for living full out.

You are a beloved son. You are a beloved brother. You are The Gift.

Namaste

A lesson in eco-nomics

Vegetarians be on notice.....this blog may upset your sensibilities.......



We made some tough decisions over the last month. The economic impact of having 52 beaks to feed is....well....too much. We buy organic feed at $25 per bag. When 2 bags last 9 days and less than half of the hens are laying and there are 4 roosters and blah blah blah. Tough decisions HAVE to be made. We hold up the economic ruler and face it.

Gotta cull the flock.

Now

With our best abattoir, Sam, on the other side we have delayed the inevitable in order to talk ourselves into harvesting the flock. We realized that it would take all day to harvest the flock and process the flock. There is the room in the freezer....there is none right now. (I gotta get busy cooking the frozen veggies and fruit from last year before this year's crops start coming on).
It's taken too many bags of feed for us to decide.

It is so final and we have been feeling rather stuck.

Thank heavens for our intrepid friend Arron. He can add "abattoir" to his resume. Actually he is a quantum physicist heading to UC Irvine for his post grad work. He'll find much more satisfaction in that work, however, this is just his kindness to us that allowed him to play the circle of life game today.

I certainly feel a lot lighter. It's less of a burden for me now that I am no longer thinking of how.

Which brings me to the meta-thought for the day. When do I allow myself to get stuck in the how and not proceed into the bliss of my life? Less often than in years past. Happy for that.

So off they go to the next step on the ladder of life. They had a grand life here with us, those chickens. Big yard for plenty of room to run. Yummy kitchen scraps. Bugs galore. The roosters got plenty of action, I'll tell you that! What is next on the ladder? Whale? Horse? Cat?

What do you think?

On the Road Again

Thursday was the perfect day to get back on the road. I stepped into the rented Camry and off I drove.

I like to drive through the San Felipe Canyon and drop down into the desert on Highway 78. The drive is serene and beautifully picturesque. Imagine being in the Southern California area and being the only one on the road for miles! That's what happens when I time it just right. The desert flowers are still in bloom. It wasn't unbearably hot. Yeay me!

Holtville, Calipatria and Yuma. Maybe you don't know these names. Chances are, though, you have been eating food from these farming areas. In the winter and spring a majority of the lettuce the you see grows in the Imperial County and Yuma areas. When you buy organic bagged lettuce, like a spring mix, you are contributing to my employment. Thank you for your support!

Now I get to write the reports.

Have a brilliant day being the amazing BEing that you are.

Smiles across the miles

Today is a new beginning for me.

I am driving to the desert for two inspections. It is familiar territory for me. I know how to do this work and I do it well. I got a fat raise this week...an acknowledgement from the company that they agree!

I have walked through my hesitation and doubt. I am ready to be alone and travel across the beautiful desertscape. The flowers are still in bloom. I've got podcasts lined up. Oh! I'd better book my hotel room!

Arrivaderci.

Revitalized

Refreshed, revitalized and renewed.

That is how I am describing my overall attitude. It's the upswing from a dreary week.

Nothing like a weekend in the desert to perk up one's attitude.

We stayed with friends in Rancho Mirage over the weekend. If it was their intention to treat us like royalty...they hit the mark. We were wined and dined, rested and relaxed. Something that is quite rare for Scott! His voice was even in a mellow place.

Of course, we always make time to talk about business. That is what happens when one is a business owner. It was the conversation about the present and the direction that we want to head that seemed to be the most invigorating. I won't say that I am excited. I am however, ready.

Ready to surge forward. There is much to do and our plans are forming.

Funny that today is gray and drizzl-y. It is not a reflection of my mood. It's so charming to have a wet day. It's May 17th for godssakes!!

We were planning to get a huge delivery of compost. Not sure about the safety of the truck on the driveway now!! HMMM...

Gratitude for all of the wonder that pulls on my imagination.

Peace and Blessings...

Snap out of it!

Better days are here...and ahead of me. Because...damn...it can only get better from here.

My life is blessed with kind and generous people. Last night was a beautiful experience of just that!

The San Diego Earth Works VIP (Very Important Planet) reception was held last night. It is the annual fund raiser for the non-profit organization that creates the Earth Day celebration in Balboa Park each year.

(Some years we have seen 70,000 people attend the Earth Fair!!)

Scott was the president of that board for 10 of the 17 years that he served on the BOT. We go waaaay back to the time when we had one toddler! We are happy to have been involved with them and to have seen the changes that have taken place in San Diego County due to SDEW's influence over the years.

The reception is a chance to visit with eco-minded folks. There is yummy food to enjoy. Great earth-friendly silent auction items to bid and ultimately not win. Awards for eco-minded projects. You get the idea.

The awards are an inspiration. The VA hospital in La Jolla has a co-generation plant that is producing so much energy for the campus you would be blown away. The city of San Diego's water use reduction program was a huge success and lowered carbon emissions by some fantastic amount daily. All of this bodes well...a mindful group of humans taking responsibility and making changes.

A new award was given last night. It is called the Stand for Sam award. It is an award to acknowledge someone who has made a difference in a way that would have inspired Sam. So we presented the first of these awards to ECOLIFE, founded by Bill Toone. This man does amazing work to co-create a harmonic experience between nature and people....check it out. He's on the web. www.ecolifefoundation.org/

Bill surprised us last night to say the his group will plant 30,000 trees in Michoacan, Mexico this year. Colour me inspired.

Breathing in the oxygen and feeling grand about all of this healing.

The award was hand made by a local artisan, of course!

What ideas are germinating in your mind?

Deer in the Headlights

I staring out the window this morning and see a plume of smoke. Some farmer dud is burning something that is making black smoke....what could it be? The water truck is sitting neaby to avert a potential disaster. Thankfully it is not breezy this morning.

The hot windy days are the perfect time for the guys at the base to blow shit up. It's like they sit around and wait for those perfect conditions to also create a fire.

When we talk about where we want to live next I dream of living where I won't hear men and women blowing shit up in preparation for war. I am just done with it. Every blast sounds like textbooks and teachers' salaries to me. Full bellies for little innocents born into families experiencing tough times....add your favorite item here_____________.

Ewww...cranky are we?

I attended a class about Hinduism last night. A teeny tiny thumbnail of something so rich and deep that I felt teased. Go further Laura. Investigate.

And yet...I really would rather go inside and investigate. What is making me tick now?

Now that I have to grow up without hugging Sam and staring into his beautiful eyes. Now that I have to find other ways to communicate with him and see him.

His presence and absence meld into one majestic symphony.

Missing him. Wearing his plaid shirt helps. As if it really could.

Sending love....receiving love...sending love

Music sets the tone

Starting slowly and in love today.

Music is set to a mellow station from the UK.

It's grand how music can be the guide for a calm morning.

Birds are singing and the breeze is blowing. Sun is shining just right. That pesky fly is finally headed outside.

Step slowly. Enough hurrying happens around me that I can be the calm place.

Gently raise my eyes to the Truth of my being. Release the inner pressure that there is somewhere else to be or something to rush to accomplish.

Be right here in the present. Feel my blood coursing through my veins. Breath in my lungs. Loving thoughts in my mind.

Ahhh! That's Good.

Blessings for this day.

This orbit has me spinning

Phew....glad it's Monday.

Odd....when I think of the cultural consciousness and its wisdom about Mondays. Suffice to say I am glad that Sunday is over with.

Mother's Day...a holiday where momma's inevitably get to wash dishes and change diapers!

Julia Ward Howe is the momma to thank for the modern mother's day "holiday". She wrote a proclamation in 1870 after being distraught at the carnage of the Civil War. Mothers sons' killing other mothers sons.

Hmmm.

Anyway....too much to say today and too sad to say it all.....

Sending love around the planet.

One more orbit around the sun completed. The end of it was a shocker....gotta keep spinning.

Oh! What a Night.

And so it begins.

Here is the new day of my life. It dawned with a little bit of a marine/cloud layer. It's how my brain felt this morning. I awoke with those lovely ducks on my mind and what absolutely must be accomplished for their housing this weekend. But beyond that, the cloudiness was a fog hiding something that is so magical and shimmering that all I can do is be curious about it. Step towards it and follow its lead!

No need to run an old tape in my head that it's scary. Pishaw....over the fear. Just loving the curiosity and the delight of what I am allowing to be created.

Last night was the first event to benefit Sam Murray's Future Farm Foundation. It was a benefit concert in a coffee house near our home. The music was divine. The crowd enthralled. The love was palpable. I spoke to the group about Sam' s passion and our desire to carry that forward. It was so very good.

Our host, Feeding the Soul Foundation, is supporting us with so much love and kindness as we create the program, the intention and breadth of what this can be. Their foundation is on the internet at

www.feedingthesoulfoundation.org. Service is their desire. What a great gift they are to me and my family.

The way that they speak about being available to serve is heading me in a direction of greater service. In recent weeks I have felt that I have been served so very much. I also know that I have been of service to many as well. My mind tries to quantify it. How silly.

Be in grace and let your love flow Laura. Wrap the world in your embrace Laura and you too are included.

Mother's Day began as an appeal for peace from mothers. It wasn't Hallmark!!

May you bless your birth mother with love this weekend.

May you bless our Earth Mother this weekend.

Time has come

I am sitting here with a knot in my stomach.

This is a communication that is long overdue. Since it is my birthday weekend...I am jumping in full on. Nothing to fix or change. Nothing to lose, because it has already been lost, long ago.

I am an adult. Although we are always our parents' children....I write as a clear minded adult.

Everything is in Divine Perfection. No doubt of that.

A new moon is upon us. As the last moon waxed and waned I birthed a new version of my life. During that moon I was sheltered, comforted, loved, prayed for, fed, honored and carried through by so very many loving souls. We don't always know how to react or how to be in a situation such as this. I experienced people pushing themselves into the tenderness of their sorrow and pain and finding ways to comfort and support us, along with themselves. I have experienced people stepping up and getting themselves here to be with us. Many miles have been traveled.

In all of this tenderness there has been a deep and clear absence. My father has had a difficult time articulating his pain and his support. It is endemic of a lifetime of not knowing how to show up for me. I realized a long time ago that I was better off creating a fantasy of who my father could be for me. The reality was just too painful. This fantasy has carried me along for decades.

So I sit with this dilemma in my life. One option is to turn my back and walk away. If I did that it would be counter intuitive to who I am. It would be exactly the way I see that he has handled all of the difficult situations in his life. Turning away. Maybe I already turned away years ago. I have been checking in. Wondering if there was interest beyond cursory conversations.

I have never told him how angry I am. Until yesterday. I finally had a genuine conversation where I allowed my anger to bubble to the surface. I was scared because I could have been on the other end of a shut door...yet again....42 years after the first door was shut.

Don't worry about being embarrassed Dad or what other people will think. What anyone thinks of you is none of your business. It's your business what you think of yourself.

The people who read my blog have never met you. You have made it very clear that you do not have room for me in your life and you have not very much interest in mine. Try as I have to keep you informed. Your world is limited and small. Mine is large and full of potential. Common ground has been rocky for some time.

I thank you. You showed me how I could be the very best possible parent for my three beloved children. You showed me how I could be loving and kind. How to be there fully and completely. How to pour myself into a life so full of love and tenderness and compassion that I am drenched in love. It's an exquisite beautiful place to live.

I am so grateful.

Love is all there is. It is all I have for you.

Sushi in styrofoam is counter-indicative

Given that sushi is such a precious commodity now, why would any restaurant owner put such beautifully prepared food into a styrofoam container?

What is the challis that holds my life....my thoughts....my dreams. What is the vessel (virtual, of course) that contains all of those ambitions and desires-and has room for more?

You wouldn't catch me putting them in styrofoam. Ewww.

I fancy myself more of a crystal kind of woman. Clean and hand hewn....well blown really....like a gentle breeze. Wood gets hewn. Glass gets blown.

I imagine this beautiful bowl. In the style of my favorite glass blower Boz. Wild colours flecked around the edges that shed a lovely light. Inside the bowl are pretty little packages beautifully wrapped in bright colours. Each package has something very precious inside of it. They are there to be unwrapped, enjoyed, experienced and then re-wrapped or re-fashioned. Lovingly tended to with a desire to become more of what I am here to become. There may also be some ideas in that challis that could be all wrong.

Given that I have this lovely place within my imagination...it can be shocking when someone wants to step in and muscle their way in where they are not yet welcome. I found myself in a situation yesterday feeling guarded and aware of the need to protect myself. It was an unusual place for me to be. The situation showed me how I had neatly tucked away some pretty big ideas about my life. I thought they had been all taken care of.

I live in the present and avoiding looking at these thing will only be a rotten thing to do. It just feels like the timing is suspect. I'd like to see my my life on a new track. Well, maybe this is a part of it. It just feels pretty raw and uncomfortable. Uggghhh!

Many people have been sharing the utmost kindness and support with me and my family as we all reel from the sudden passing of our beloved Sam. Love is a powerful healer and true friendship has no bounds. Allowing myself to receive this support is teaching me so much about gratitude and about worthiness.

I am a blessing. You are a blessing. This whole idea that it is bad form to say things like "I am terrific" or "I am really great at that" is a way to diminish the Divine Expression that you are. That I am.

I Am.

Divine expressing as me says you are a gift to humanity. Unwrap and reveal the goodies to us all. We are here to celebrate you. It's time.

No waiting at check-stand 1!

If you wonder why sushi is a precious commodity it's time for you to watch "The End of the Line", a documentary released about 2 years ago.

Courage

These last few days have been sunny from the beginning. That can translate as many things for many people. For me....I started my harvest early this morning to beat the heat. For my roomie it's a whole new paradigm. She moved from the PNW to the Desert Southwest. Adjustments can take bit of time and a brilliant imagination.

Ya folks....despite all of the green lawns that you see around you, this is an arid desert. The water is shipped from many miles away.....And the more heat we feel the more water we need on the growing beds. Everything is thirsty.

Growing....that's what I'm up to these days. Growing in my faith. Growing in my love for my beloved husband and children. For my brother. For all the people who are holding me in their prayers and sending their love to me..to us. I am moving forward because of this support. I am so blessed to be living in the embrace of the Beloved and the glorious expressions of the Beloved that are in my life...my friends and family. Gratitude for you all.......

There is so much to do and I am moving deliberately and slowly. There is nothing to rush. No thing becomes more important than the next. It all requires a new look, a new vision for what my life wants to become....

If you don't understand what I am saying....so be it. I understand.

Love. Pure and simple love is what I send across the space of cyber....

Blessings for your day...

Critters with beaks and snouts

Our morning routine is simple.

Step one: Don't sleep in!

Step two: Brew coffee

Step three: Feed everyone of those animals. Then feed the human animals! Starting with coffee...

We are blessed with way too many animals here on the farm. Three flocks of chickens for fresh eggs but some of the chickens are not laying and we just haven't gotten around to the reality of that. In March we received the box with 4 ducklings. They are the snail and weed control partners! The ducks sleep in the greenhouse and we have to walk them down into the garden each day. It is so delightful to see them and hear them. They have grown so very fast. Their wings will need to be clipped pretty soon so that they do not fly away.

We live in this dreamy foggy place right now. Decisions and choices looming on the horizon will be tended to as we can muster the attention to those things. Going slow is a new experience for all of us. We try to be tender with each other and stay away from stressful thoughts and experiences.

This life stressful enough.

I breathe. I try to find time alone and then see that my life is not giving me that.

I am headed out to an inspection this morning.

Under the category of "Some people do not know what to say when a person's son has passed" this man takes the cake! "Call me when you get our life together" "Did you get over it"? "Oh! I guess you don't get over it"....master of the social graces! This will be interesting.

Another gorgeous Santa Ana clear skies day awaits. Looking for love and good all around!

Find what you love. Love what you find.

To Be List

Today I am here to be.

Be present to my life and all the nuances that make it up.

To sneeze like crazy because the wind is blowing from the desert. I have this idea that that is where the sneezes come from! The beautiful desert.

My workspace is set up in my bedroom right now and I'm not rushing to get it moved. You see I have this magnificent view across the San Luis Rey River Valley all the way north to the Santa Rosa Plateau. Today, with the wind blowing, the view is clear and clean.

GORGEOUS!!

Gratitude. Is. Deep.

So I am settling in to get some work done and move ahead.

Standing on my little patch of God. Living in my paradise.

Where is yours today?

May I Be

Breathe. Beat. Blink. Step. Smell. Taste. Step.

Savor.

I am glad for May. Beltane. May Day. Worker's Day. It all folds into the new moments that are wanting to be born in my life.

Michael Frank's song "Coming To Life" was ringing in my head during the last few days of April.

"April is not the cruelest month, if I may disagree..." I will not dwell in the space of these lyrics for too long. I do want to say that it may appear that April had some cruelness to it. I felt myself wanting it all to be over. Maybe when April ended I'd get...........Blah blah blah.

Did you ever talk about your situation with only the words blah blah blah blah blah. Emphasis on the blah.

Bring me a new month Goddess...

My birthday month is May. Is that the driving force behind my love of this month?

Perhaps.

I receive each day's dawn as a blessing, so any day is good and any month is good...potentially. Especially with that attitude of gratitude

gra-attitude.

I am living in a whirlwind.

My life has been touched by deep sadness and profound love. It expresses simultaneously. It expresses in harmony. I am not trying to bury the sadness. It would be ridiculous to turn away from it. My sense right now is that I will be on the edge of sadness for every more. And yet that thought is counter intuitive to what is True in my life. In my philosophy.

My philosophy. Hmmm.

What is that? What is the philosophy that I call my OWN. What simmers inside of my spirit?

Love.

It is the constant force, spark, power. Love has cracked my heart open. It didn't have to do much to make that happen. I am already Love. I was already love before my life took this turn. So love is the journey towards that glorious destination. Where Sam is now. The "I am that I am becoming".

I am becoming more Love. I am becoming More Laura.

Beautifully being. Present. Aware. Attentive. Blessed.

May I be guided

May I be changed

May I be a blessing

May I .

I am all of that....As are you.

Happy May. Live it Well.

Blessed Be.

The Edge

Welcome to the edge.

As we prepared our coffee this morning we gazed out our picture window. The view, always wondrous, offered something extra this morning. The photo shows the edge of the coming storm. We are gonna get slammed today. Wind-rain-flooding. It's gonna be grand indeed!

The birds are chattering about getting themselves fed before it hits. Gracious!

In years past I have sat and waited and waited for storms that never amounted to anything. It has been a satisfying experience this winter to be fulfilled. The rain barrels are poised. The ground is ready to soak it in. Bring it on!

Does absence make the heart grow fonder. Are you disappointed that I have not blogged in a couple of weeks? Or is it me? Am I doing this for myself? Yep. Do I like to share with you too? Yep. So, be patient. I get really occupied with my life and my commitment to writing is not as great as some.

Life around here has been curious. We have had job offers and inquiries and job changes. We have been planting. We have more folks who want to be in our CSA. We are ready to add the second field that is nearby. All of this is on the edge! Bring it on.

I am set to accept a new job today. Call it the new era of working. 3 part time jobs that add up to somewhat of a full time salary. It keeps life interesting. I am excited to live in the time where I can work from my home and my commute consists of driving to beautiful farms across the southland. Does it get any better.

Well, yes. It does get better and that is the edge where I like to live.

How Good Can It Get?

BRING IT ON!

Blessings for your weekend.

Posting

It's a great thing for a mama to see her children excited and happy about their lives. Last night was a double bonus.

Lily has a job. Sam has a job. They are both working in areas that are their passion.

Note to self and others: That's what it's all about. Live a passionate life.

There is a sweet health food store in Fallbrook. It has been a part of our life for many years, as it was once owned by our dear friends. The current owner has been watching Lily cook at church and offered her a job. Lily says she's wanted to work there since she was a little girl. Lily was bursting with possibilities last night. Fantastic.

Sam is already out the door today. He is working for an avocado grove management company owned by a family friend. He too was bursting, as only Sam can. He loves trees and loves to be outside. He made us a particularly tasty dinner and then made his lunch for today. Forward thinking! I see bowls and bowls of guacamole in our future.

My mantra...don't buy avocados. Haven't for years. Do you know where I live? I am surrounded by avocado groves!! Thank you MotherFatherGod.

Small delights for a partly sunny Tuesday morning. So thrilled for the growth and experiences that they will have and then share with us around our happy dinner table.

Sweet February.

Bring It On!

Peace and Freedom in the Middle East. Voices heard. Passions expressed. Repression ceased.

Unjumbling

The world around me is washed anew. A delicious little storm came through and cleaned up the air. It smells so fresh today!

Again, a metaphor for my life. I am sitting here with pen poised to my to do list and nothing is coming through. So, bear with me as I prioritize my activities.

Last day of January. 31st day of 20heaven. New month tomorrow.

Be kind to yourself Laura. Then you'll be better at showing kindness to your family. Skip the potato chips this week. Eat some yummy greens. Make time for your Spirit to feel the kindness as well.

Stretch your imagination to see your wildly successful business humming along. Clarify your intention for the new field and what you want to do with it....not to it!

Ask where you can be of service. Step into that greatness. Where do your passions lie? What makes you sing?

That's better.

Our Slow Food convivium came to a farm tour and potluck on Saturday. It was delicious. The group was varied in age and that is what I find the most delicious. Young people interested in supporting local food producers. Eating great food rocks. Knowing your farmer rocks. We are moving into a great time of connection. The activities that we planned will be wonderful and accessible to many.

Eat well. Take your time.

Primarily honed

It was a day full of firsts. I just kept bumping up against them and then noticing them and then consciously creating them!

Coffee at sbux today....brewed Casi Cielo. Heaven in a cup. Sunny chat on the deck. First of many sunny chats!

I sat and weeded for the first time in quite a while. Revealing the sweet beets was a great meditation in the glorious seventy degree heat. Gotta love Bonsall in January. The first strings are set up for the peas to use as a trellis. They were happy to be released from the weeds as well.

We have been thinking about how to extend the chicken area to include a particularly nice area of fresh grass. The guys figured it out with a simple temporary extension to the fenced area. Those hens, under the watchful eye of cock-o, were in their chicken bliss today.

We are ready to plant a new bed in section one. The first bed in the first section of our garden. Are you getting the idea?? Ha!

The espresso machine on my kitchen counter was fired up today for a delicious coffee session.

My first adjustment from my beloved chiropractor was a sweet healing. I get onto that table and I instantly relax. I feel great. My gratitude is deep.

I am clearly focused on the magic of this week and what else can be. My dear friend Kristin is here with our family and it feels so good. We are creating a tremendous year and I love how it looks...so far.

Rosy beginning

As the harp sounds of my alarm began, I opened one eye to peek.

I don't like to be jolted awake. Gently teased is more my style. That place between asleep and awake is so sacred. I get to pull my thoughts to a Good place if I gently tease my consciousness awake. Mindful mornings.

I was peeking to see if it was a rosy sky morning. To my delight, the answer was yes. The quality of the light astounds me. It fills me with wonder. As the sun rises the light slowly changes and the rosiness dissipates. And then it returns as the sunlight touches the hillside across the San Luis Rey Valley. The canyons are bathed in the rosy glow so that the shadows are visible. Thank you Nature for this view. This stepping off point for today.

I am in an expanded view of my year. The container for my experience has room for ideas and images to show up that began to show some interesting possibilities and ideas over the last 24 hours.

I have hit the reset button. We all do it at the beginning of the year. I feel like this was a really big reset, though. The springboard of ideas is looking like something that I had begun imagining some time ago. And it is BIG.

Picture a hot air balloon. When I was younger I was part of a balloon crew. Watching the balloon as it goes through the process to be airborne is a great metaphor for my life right now. As the envelope of the balloon lays on the ground the flame thrower heats the air inside. The envelope fills with the warmth air of imagination and desire. As the ideas expand and grow the balloon lifts up and becomes vertical and so light that it lifts the gondola basket off of the ground. From that view everything looks vast and expansive and available. It's quiet up here and oh, so beautiful. The perfect morning for a hot air balloon ride.

Enjoy the landscape.

A new week

Ahh!

Barking dogs, noisy roosters, hens cackling while they lay my breakfast egg. It's a beautiful morning in Bonsall.

Joe is back from his Portland to Bonsall road trip and a great time was had by all. We are a crowded house for a few days and I couldn't be happier!

So much newness is happening that I feel like I'm on the edge of my imagination. Gotta bump it out a wee bit further and then keep nudging it. The thing is, that I just can't box myself in. Something is knocking at my door and I can hear the subtle urgency of it. Urgency can be a negative word. It isn't meant to be here. It's more like an anticipation.

We step into a new year with great expectations and excitement. No different this time. What is fresh is the fact that the ties the appeared to bind us are not really tight. They are loose and can unravel for a higher Good than we were moving towards!

I have a friend who keeps a suitcase packed with some clothes at the new year. It brings travel into her life. I remember doing that one year and frankly, I always travel so the thought is out there for me as potential just generally speaking. I feng shui my house and, perhaps the farm somewhat. Yesterday, I was inspired to clean. I want to bring clarity and order to my thinking.

There is this place in my house that required some special attention.

I took this on as an exercise in mindfulness. Look at what you can clean out. Get clear, tidy and orderly.

You should see my fridge!! Ha!

No science projects this week. No more questionable sauces that have been around forever. A clean and tidy place to create more health in my life.

Go for it!

Have fun.

It's a glorious day made especially for you.